


save me, but don’t drown me out

by Idk34



Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: Hurt Kelly Severide, Multi, Season 2 ep 20 kinda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:20:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26561278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Idk34/pseuds/Idk34
Summary: When Casey wanted him to follow him into the hole to find Dawson, he followed without question.Casey was one of his closest friend’s and Dawson was Casey’s girl. Either way Kelly was going to go into that hole, with his claustrophobia or not.OrTakes place during season 2 episode 20 but Kelly has claustrophobia, Casey is just worried for his girlfriend and Boden would appreciate it more if his firefighters would speak up about their injuries
Relationships: Kelly Severide & Leslie Shay, Matthew Casey & Kelly Severide, Matthew Casey/Gabriela Dawson
Comments: 5
Kudos: 38





	1. Chapter 1

When Casey wanted him to follow him into the hole to find Dawson, he followed without question. 

Casey was one of his closest friend’s and Dawson was Casey’s girl. Either way Kelly was going to go into that hole, with his claustrophobia or not.

Severide’s claustrophobia...right. He’d been on the job for years and he’d never had a problem with small spaces. He’s not even sure when he developed the fear but he’s managed to avoid small spaces altogether since he noticed his fear, that is until now.

He never told anyone about this fear either but he’s pretty sure Shay already knows. It probably would’ve been wiser to tell someone (Boden), so he could avoid small places. So when before he went into that hole, that lead under the partially collapsed hospital, he hesitated.

Kelly wasn’t at all surprised that Casey hadn’t noticed his panic, probably dealing with his own. 

All Kelly needed to do was concentrate. One step at a time-well more like one crawl at a time. He slowly followed Casey trying to keep his own breathing under control and his heart rate steady.

Kelly was so focused on his breathing that he didn’t realise he placed him left arm right on a piece of rebar.

He didn’t scream. He didn’t even make a noise. He paused as he felt the pain soar through his arm. He couldn’t breathe, he felt as though he was dying. He was panicking and he knew that. 

Kelly was trying so so hard to keep from making a sound and scaring Casey. Casey didn’t need to worry about him. He should be worried about his girl.

Tears were clouding his vision, dropping off of his face, leaving tear tracks on his likely dirty face. His vision was starting to fade out at the sides.

He’s pretty certain he blacked out for, for who knows how long it had been. It couldn’t have been that long because he heard Casey shout from ahead. “I see a hand!”

That, that was not helping with his breathing problem. He-he needed to move forward. But that meant he needed to get his arm off of the rebar, that had gone straight through his arm. In sight he should’ve pulled his arm off the rebar slowly or preferably not at all and leave it in and cut the sides, but he didn’t have the equipment to do that.

He yanked his arm from the rebar with a gasp, breathing heavily as he layed on his side, as a pain even worse, passed through his body, worse than the first time.

He heard Casey shout something, but it was muffled to his ears.

“What?” Kelly shouted back, hoping his voice wasn’t waviering, he felt like he was about to pass out again, and he felt dizzy and nauseous, both of which, not a good sign, and that’s on top of the pounding headache he has.

“It’s not Dawson!” He heard Casey reply. Who wasn’t Dawson? The person who belonged to the hand? Did he miss something?

Fuck. Kelly really needed to move and maybe pay more attention, Yeah, that would be a good idea.

He moved slowly through the rubble, careful to keep pressure off of his left arm. He had somewhat calmed his breathing and had finally caught up to Casey when things started to go wrong for him again.

Kelly felt another piece of rebar catch his shirt and pants, ripping through the lower right side of his body to his mid thigh.

His breath caught once more and he was panicking. Again. His vision was fading. Again. The pain was blinding and his head was killing him. It couldn’t of been that deep...right?

He let out a small whimper, not able to hold in the pain much longer.

“You okay, man?” He heard Casey say, with...was that concern in his voice. Casey was his best friend besides Shay, but they were always arguing, he’s never heard Casey sound concerned about him before.  
No. No. Casey was just concerned about his girlfriend. Not him. Surely not him. No one had ever showed concern towards him aside from Shay. Not even his father worried about him.

And Kelly wasn’t even sure he could keep going. He was just about to give in and tell Casey he couldn’t keep going, when Casey stopped suddenly. “Do you hear that?” Casey said with hope in his voice.

To be honest Kelly couldn’t hear much over his own ragged breathing and his rageing headache. Despite his own instincts Kelly said trying to sound as normal as possible, “I do.”

His voice sounded horrible to his own eats, voice dry and horse, with panicked breathes. To himself he did not sound like himself. He must of sounded pretty convincing to Casey though, as he had pulled out his radio to signal the others.

He couldn’t really concentrate on anything. He-he couldn’t really feel his arm and-and his leg was starting to go numb. He couldn’t really feel anything. That-that wasn’t a good sign, he didn’t think. He couldn’t really think, if he was going to be honest, or breathe.

He was broken out from the haze he was in when he felt rubble starting to move and looked ahead to see Casey moving. He should keep going, Severide told himself, for Dawson, she needs them.

He thanks whoever was looking out for him that he didn’t need to do much when they reached Dawson. Kelly didn’t even think Dawson knew he was there, that could be seen as a blessing. She didn’t need to know he was hurt. If he had it his way no one ever needed to know, except maybe Shay.

He sat there leaning against the wall while the squad made way to where they were.  
He zoned out, he doesn’t remember helping Casey move Dawson to the backboard to get her out, he doesn’t remember the pain he was in. 

Kelly only zones back In when it’s his turn to climb the ladder. He couldn’t feel the pain. His headache had gone. He was fine. Totally fine. He climbed up the ladder. He saw the smiling faces of his squad. He felt Herrman grab his arm, to help him out, missing the concerned glance he sent Severide’s way.

He started limping through the row of firefighters. He started staggering along. He-he couldn’t breathe. He felt his leg go out from under him and he went crashing into Cruz. His vision was fading, his headache had come back full force, he was feeling every ache and pain, and he knew for a fact he was hyperventilating.

“I-I can’t- can’t breathe.” Kelly wheezed.

That was the last thing he said before he blacked out completely.


	2. Chapter 2

Dawson was no longer trapped and everyone was cheering, then not far behind, came Casey. Not surprising considering they were together. 

Then Severide came out. The squad was smiling and cheering him on. Herrman was too, until he realised that there was something wrong. He was covered in blood, but it can’t have been Dawson’s because she has no obvious injuries other then her head wound.

Herrman grabbed Severide’s arm to help him from the ladder. He wasn’t expected to grab an arm covered to sticky, red blood. Severide didn’t even flinch.

Severide was pale, and there was tear tracks down his face, not to mention the amount of blood covering his head as well as the blood covering his body.

He was limping along, swaying like a drunk person. It was obvious he was injured. He was unconsciously favouring his left arm and right leg. There were also tears all along his clothes, much like Casey but there was way more blood, more than a person should have.

He started staggering before collapsing onto Cruz. 

“I-I- can’t-can’t breathe,” Severide wheezed before blacking out.

Mouch and Otis, who were standing next to Cruz, immediately started to help Cruz bare the weight of the Lieutenant while they screamed for a Medic.

All the cheers stopped. No one was smiling anymore.

Shay appeared out of nowhere assessing Severide, who was now lying on the uneven concrete rubble. She quickly explained to the squad. “He’s claustrophobic, that’s why he couldn’t breathe. I’m concerned about the amount of blood he’s lose-“

All of a sudden he started seizing. “Hold him down! Make sure he doesn’t hit his head any harder!” She screamed at the firefighters trusting them to work out who would do what. “Mills, time it!”

Everyone was in a protective circle around the lieutenant, keeping their space at the same time, giving Shay, space to work.

Chief Boden saw the group of firefighters in a circle. Casey and Dawson were both in the hospital getting checked out, so what on earth were they doing.

“What on earth is going on here?!” Boden said in an angry voice while pushing past the firefighters getting no response from any of them.

He made it to the front of the circle, to see Severide seizing. All of a sudden he stopped and Shay called out, “Time?!” 

Mills replied, “4:38.”

“SHIT!” Shay exclaimed. “He’s  
Not breathing. Starting CPR.”

“I’ve got a pulse!” Mills said after a minute.

“Place him on a backboard, secure his neck, could be a spinal injury, strap him down in case he starts seizing again, everyone else clear a path!” Shay barked, and everyone obeyed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just putting it out there, I have no medical knowledge....


	3. Chapter 3

Everyone was the exact opposite of relaxed. Matt himself was pacing around the waiting room like a mad man. 

Kelly never gave any indication of being hurt or anything. 

No one even told him Kelly was having emergency surgery, for-for something, he wasn’t listening to, too caught up in his own panic.

He wasn’t told anything until 20 minutes after the incident and he’s definitely blaming himself.

He knows he should be with Gabby right now. But he knows she understands. Kelly is his best friend. And he might be the reason he dies.

It felt like years before the doctor came out. “Family of Kelly Severide?”

Boden spoke up, “We’re all his family.”

The doctor just nodded, seeing as they were fire fighters.

“First off, he had a seizure due to a brain bleed, which would have been caused by blunt force trauma. It could of been a result of falling debris, or just knocking his head a little too hard on something.

Next we were informed that Lieutenant Severide has claustrophobia, which resulted in lack of oxygen to his brain. This would have also contributed slightly to the seizure. Due to this fact though we have him on a breathing tube, temporarily, which will likely be removed sometime tonight.

Lieutenant Severide also has multiple contusions and various lacerations. Two major ones we are monitoring are one in his arm, which went straight through it, appeared to be caused by debris. Another one about 2 inches deep that cut through his lower right side of his body to around his mid thigh. We are choosing to monitor these ones closely for infections.”

Matt couldn’t understand. Kelly had claustrophobia and didn’t tell him? And even if Kelly didn’t tell Matt, why would he willingly follow him into such a small space.

Kelly’s condition was Matt’s fault. Kelly didn’t deserve him as a friend. Maybe he should’ve payed more attention to Kelly, should’ve pushed more when he hid things. Asked more questions.

He wasn’t sure how long he sat on the dirty floor of the waiting room, but most firefighters had gone home, to their family’s. Only he, Shay and Boden remained.

The doctor came back out, taking in their appearances. She smiled softly. “You can all go in and see him now, he should be waking up soon.” And with that she left.

Matt just sat still and remained in place. As if Kelly wanted to see him now.  
He felt a gentle hand on his shoulder, and looked up to see Shay. “He-,” Matt started.

“Would want see you.” Shay continued, “come on.”

He slowly got up and followed Shay into Kelly’s room.

He was supposed to see Kelly awake and talking to Boden when he got there. When Kelly noticed the two he turned towards them and looked at Matt. “You look like Shit.” He said with a raspy voice.

Matt chuckled with tears running down his face. “This is coming from you.” He said as he walked to sit in the chair besides Kelly’s bed, distinctly aware of Boden and Shay leaving the room.

“Hey, I’m okay, it’s not your fault.” Kelly said with concern and a worried expression.

“You almost weren’t and it is my fault. Why didn’t you tell me you were claustrophobic?! Why didn’t you tell me you were hurt.”

Kelly looked away, suddenly shy and said in a quiet voice, “I didn’t want to burden you.”

“Oh Kelly, your never a burden.”

Kelly stifled a sob, “But I am, I-I- I’ve always b-been.”

“Not to me you haven’t, come here.”

Matt spent the rest of the night holding his brother, letting Kelly tell him his secrets, in return share information some of his own.

“We’ll be okay, Kelly, I’ll save you. I’ll always be here. No matter what. I won’t let you drown.”


End file.
